Sunday, January 25, 2009

I need a better plan (a vent)

I haven't exercised consistently in two weeks. The day just gets away from me. I know that I should take time for myself...make time for myself. But when?

I don't know how some women do it and when I try to wrap my head around it I just feel so stinking inadequate! I have a never ending mountain of laundry. There are toys everywhere. Menu planning, grocery shopping and cooking take up so much time and for what? Meals that rarely get eaten as a family...that the girls won't eat anyway, for the most part. And by the time things get cleaned up after dinner I have only a small window before it's time to put Berio to bed. Once she's in bed there's another small window before Bones goes to bed. Sometimes I have nothing to do during those times but usually I'm cleaning the kitchen or making school snacks and lunches or picking up toys. By the time they're both in bed and settled it's 9 p.m. (or later sometimes!). And by then I'm just too tired. Budgeting and paying bills take up my time too. And I do everything online...heaven help me if I ever had to pay bills the "old fashioned" way! And even with all the planning that I do, I feel like my finances are out of my control. There's a bleed somewhere and I can't find it! We're not struggling financially. We're very lucky. We have enough. More than enough, really. We just can't seem to get ahead. And every year we get closer to the day when we retire and closer to the day when our girls are going to leave for University. Something I've always wanted to be able to pay for.

I feel like I don't have the time to spend on things I enjoy (and would like to get better at!) like photography and maybe even knitting never mind something that I don't really love! I admit it...I don't LOVE to exercise. I am beginning to realize, though, that not everyone does. It's great if you can find something that you enjoy but even if you don't, exercise is like just have to do it if you want to be healthy.

Meh...I'm done with this post.


Juice said...

Oh, it sounds like you are having a tough night! Be kind to yourself. No one has it all together, but certain seasons of life are tougher than others. This might just be a hard season. Eventually you WILL have time for your hobbies again. As far as exercise, finding a exercise buddy is my BEST way to make sure it happens. Having an appointment to walk with a girlfriend makes it so much more enjoyable to me. And you may have to try early morning just to make sure it gets done before the day slips away. YOU CAN DO IT! I'm pulling for you. :)

tejanamama said...

IT SUX and i did it four times a week to lose weight to conceive. ITS HARD WORK and it is horrible and it is VERY UNPLEASANT!!!! I made time for it for a few months and finally lost a decent amount. I will have to do it again when this baby is done incubating, but I DREAD the exercise. I would rather do just about ANYTHING. I did learn, the hard way, that w/o it, the weight loss doesn't come. I felt like i was spinning my wheels when the weight wasnt coming off, which is the ONLY thing propelling me to do the exercise! GOOD LUCK!!!!!