Saturday, October 18, 2008

Can I just say...

I'm not a fan of not being able to eat whatever the hell I want? Or rather, as much as I want...I eat too much junk, for sure. But I could live without it. My biggest problem is that I eat too much of everything else. I don't have a couple of pancakes for breakfast, I have four loaded with lots of butter and syrup. I don't have a salad for lunch, I have the big taco salad from Wendy's with taco chips, sour cream and cheese. For dinner, I make nutritious, healthy food and then I eat way too much. And then I eat it again in the evening. Just too much.

I know all the health rules. I know that eating five or six small meals per day is better than one big eat-fest from dinner until bedtime. I know what the so-called super foods are and why. I know that a balanced diet that's not too high in fat (but that includes the healthy fats found in nuts, avocado and fish) and contains adequate amounts of carbohydrates (the good whole grain stuff) and protein (lean cuts...and don't forget about the beans!) is the way to go. And I've changed a lot of things in my own kitchen. I do buy only lean ground beef and chicken. I buy whole wheat pasta, brown rice and multigrain bread. I make my own jam and sweeten it with honey. I buy peanuts only peanut butter. I try to limit foods with HFCS and buy trans fat free foods whenever I can.

I know the rules.

What I have a problem with is portion control. Even when I'm satisfied - no, make that FULL - I eat and eat. That's why I chose WW. With WW I can eat whatever I want. I'm not restricted in any way except for in the amount that I eat. And that's the part I need help with. It's only been a few days and already I'm struggling. I don't know. I expect perfection. I expect it to be easy. Logically I know that I'm not perfect and that two steps forward and one step back is still movement in the right direction but for some reason I still beat myself up when I "fail".

I'm not really done right now...but I can't concentrate. Berio is throwing a fit because it's bedtime and she's overtired.

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