Thursday, July 31, 2008

My husband, my enabler

My husband and I have a solid marriage. He's a really good man. He loves me and our girls more than anything. But in the area of food, we are toxic for each other. One of us can be doing really well with eating and exercise and inevitably, the other will offer up a heaping serving of temptation.

For instance, I'm not really following any plan right now...just trying to eat healthy foods and get more active. I've been riding my bike to work when I'm on dayshift, I swim after Berio goes to bed, I've taken the girls for a ride in the bike trailer a couple of times and I'm trying to get back into WiiFit...that sort of thing. Nothing really structured or anything but I'm making an effort. And almost every night, my husband sends me to the store (or tries to - sometimes I don't go) to buy him junk food. And on the nights I say no, he'll go and he'll ask me if I want anything. The answer is yes. Yes! Of course I WANT something. I want chips and chocolate and candy and ice cream. It is SO hard to say no. I struggle. Really. I don't want to have to fight this battle every day. And I really wish I didn't have to fight it by myself. But I do.

My husband and I are going to die if we keep on treating ourselves the way we do. Our daughters will watch us eat ourselves into an early grave. Maybe we'll live long enough to see them graduate, get married and start families. There's a very real chance we won't. And it's entirely likely that they'll follow our lead. That they'll make horrible food choices and stay sedentary and that will cut their lives short.

I can't hold anyone responsible for what I eat but me. I need to take responsibility, right now.

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